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Being Thankful

February 13, 2017

Recently, we’ve made friends with a family and it’s so heartwarming to see the couple who are so tight. Slowly I’ve come to realize neither the wife or the husband have a good relationship with their parents. Husband is pretty much estranged from his parents although they talk occasionally. Wife’s relationship with her parents includes a lot of drama and emotional manipulation. The good thing that came of this is the strong bond between the couple. Another friend’s parents are so not worth discussing, my head hurts just thinking about her. On top of this, she has an abusive psycho of a husband whom she won’t leave. No emotional support whatsoever from any of her family. I try to do as much as I can by listening, but it doesn’t come close to supportive parents. And then there is the other end of the spectrum where the ultra loving parents interfere a bit too much in their adult kids lives.

All of this led me to think about my relationship with my parents.They are probably not the greatest of the parents or grandparents, and have never made big sacrifices for us. Our relationship has changed over the years, and I’m closest to my dad now more than ever. He calls me several times a day, just to say hello, discuss stocks, asks about kids etc. Throughout my relationship with them, there was never any drama. They’ve never demanded anything from us, financially or emotionally. They are financially independent and live their own lives. There is no emotional blackmail for anything – we did this for you and now it’s your turn – none of that crap. And if it comes to me against the world, I can totally count on their support.

My relationship with mother-in-law on the other hand is complicated. We have our ups and downs. In the past, she has manipulated the husband to do according to her bidding. She was widowed early in her life with 3 young kids, and has struggled to bring them up. Having said that she was also not the greatest of moms, having left the kids to pretty much make life decisions on their own. My husband says survival was key at the time, and she never had the time or energy to think about other stuff. Despite all this, she is there for her kids no matter what, and prioritizes her immediate family (including us daughters-in-laws) over everything else.

For both my parents and mother-in-law, their sons, daughters and their spouses come first no matter what. And I’m so thankful for having them in our lives.

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