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2015 reflections and New Year resolutions

January 3, 2016

Reflections:

Overall 2015 has been a decent year for our family.

  • The boy got an award for topping a subject in a board-like exam that goes overseas for grading in the previous academic year. This gave a nice boost to his confidence. The girl has the most vibrant personality but is starting to show a lot of attitude towards everybody in the family.
  • Business wise we see some light at the end of the tunnel for the first time since the husband started his company 4 years ago. He is extremely busy as always, but at least it’s starting to show some results.
  • Finally quit my job a couple of days ago after a very unhappy year. Started working for the husbands company part-time. However I am not sure if that is where I want to be long-term.
  • Health and Exercise: Going to yoga/aerobics classes 2-4 days a week. I want to go more often and it’s going to be one of my resolutions.
  • Got rid of my candy crush addiction after many years which I am very happy about. But I need to stop spending hours doing mindless reading.
  • The boy doesn’t have a dedicated activity although he is starting to show some interest in a sport at school. He became a couch potato this year – thanks to a reduced focus on academics at school, and zero outsize activities resulting in a lot of free time. The girl is becoming a good dancer, but does not want to take up any other activity despite having an aptitude.

Resolutions:

I rarely make new year’s resolutions, but want to do some this year so I can track progress. I have an addictive personality and having a lot of free time means more addictions. The theme behind most of my resolutions is to get more active and keep myself busy.

  • Get more involved in household chores. I have very good helpers, which means I literally don’t lift a finger for daily chores. But I don’t let them do certain things like putting away clothes, cleaning  closets etc. Any deep cleaning that has to involve me pretty much never gets done. And it’s starting to show (dirty curtains, balconies with old stuff piled up etc.). This year I resolved to do smaller household tasks like putting away clothes, clean up mail, throw away junk etc.. on a regular basis.
  • I love the idea of growing my own vegetables, but I have a black thumb when it comes to gardening. This year I want to start growing some green leafy vegetables and herbs.
  • Career-wise I am not sure what I want to do. Even though I work for the husband’s business for now, I really don’t want to. For one I cannot take the stress since it impacts us directly. Secondly, too much pressure since I have to stand up to everybody’s expectations. Third, no matter what my husband promises, I d/won’t get paid what I am worth. My resolution is to find my own job which pays well (this part is not hard), and allows enough flexibility so I can manage my life and kids (this is not as easy).
  • Finances: After being married for 18 years, I had an epiphany. We will always have debts with the way my husband operates. And I cannot wait for them to be cleared before I can start spending for myself. Also he uses up ALL my money, and no matter what he promises I will NOT get it back. The goal is to separate my finances AND manage them on my own if I have any hope to spend/splurge some on myself/kids/family. It hurts to see how naive I’ve been all these years. Granted he doesn’t use the money for himself (either on his business or buying properties for the family), but it doesn’t make it fair for me.
  • Reason with kids instead of flaring up. I don’t like how I am yelling/screaming at the kids despite knowing it never works. As they are growing up, they are starting to yell and talk back – so it’s setting a bad precedent.
  • Start some sports activities for kids and get them off the couch and away from the gadgets/screens.
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